Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize