i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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