Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize