Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
