Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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