can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize