You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize