she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize