just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
