im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
