Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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