Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
