Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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