I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
