And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
