Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize