In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
