i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
