I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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