it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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