So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
