How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
