You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
