Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
