WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
