it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
