hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
