Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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