So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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