You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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