whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
