I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
