I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
