I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
