Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
