I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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