Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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