So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
