Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize