Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
