5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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