I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize