I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
