Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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