he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
