Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
