so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize