There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
