he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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