party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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