So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize