is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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