why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
