They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
