I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
