I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
