Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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